Richmond's Hope are delighted to announce that we have a new patron for our Charity. Here is what Her Grace, Duchess of Argyll has to say about Richmond's Hope. "I visited Richmond’s Hope last year for the first time and was overwhelmed by the wonderful work and amazing atmosphere of the centre. The children I met were a delight with their positive, cheerful and well-adjusted attitude. Having a place where they could share, cope and learn to live with bereavement, whilst being surrounded by the best in care, help and support was inspiring and I am honoured to be The Patron of Richmond’s Hope. Her Grace, The Duchess of Argyll"
Holidays and anniversaries can be difficult times for grieving families. Holidays can be filled with family get-togethers and festive events, many of which people are accustomed to sharing with the person who died, whilst anniversaries and birthdays can mark important events. At these times it can sometimes be difficult to "put on a happy face" when you're grieving inside.
For the newly bereaved, Christmas, & New Year may be especially difficult. You might see the perfect gift for a loved one, and then realise he or she is not here to enjoy it. Whether your grief is new or old, there are ways you can make the holidays more bearable and less tiring for you and your children. The anniversary of a person’s death may also be a difficult day but it may be helpful to honour the memory of the person who died and to begin new meaningful traditions in the family. Here are some suggestions. Use what is helpful for you.
- Accept your Limitations. Grief can be all-consuming, no matter what time of year it is. Holidays place additional stresses and demands on our lives. You may not be able to do all the things you've always done. Lower your expectations and allow yourself time and space to grieve.
- Plan Ahead. Decide ahead of time what you can and cannot do comfortably and let your friends and family know. For example, can you handle making the family dinner or should someone else do it? You may want to make a list of all the things you usually do - greeting cards, baking, shopping, decorations, parties, dinners etc. - and decide what you most want to do. Talk with your kids about plans and allow them to be involved in deciding how the family spends the holiday. They will appreciate being included.
- Ask for Help if You Need it. There's a good chance that friends and family are looking for ways they can be helpful to you during the hard times. You may want to continue certain traditions, but feel you can't do it alone. Involve others. People enjoy supporting others in concrete ways, such as cleaning, cooking and baking. Sometimes it's hard to ask for help because we worry about burdening others. But more often than not, they are more than happy to contribute.
- Allow for Rest. The holidays can be physically and emotionally draining for us all. Grieving is tiring too. Naps, walks, quiet times and other forms of relaxation - even for a short stretch of time - can be revitalising. Encourage children to have times of rest and quiet play as well.
- Eliminate Unnecessary Stress. Of course we can't entirely remove stress from the holidays. But we can set limits! For example, we all know how exhausting shopping can be, especially as we get closer to the holidays. If you plan to buy gifts, consider shopping early or buying from catalogues.
- Acknowledge the Life of the person who died. There are many creative ways to honour a person's memory. You may wish to do so by carrying on your family traditions or by creating new ones. Here are some ideas:
- Buy or make a memorial candle to light during the evening
- Observe a moment of silence or prayer before a meal (or at another appropriate time) in honour of the person who died `
- Make a special toast or share memories of the person who died
- Buy a gift or ornament in honour of your loved one
- Make a donation to a charity in the name of your loved one or help a family in need by making a meal for them or sending presents to their children.
Remember there is no right or wrong way to “handle” holidays and anniversaries. You can only do what is right for you and your family.
Richmond Craigmillar Church
Our Main Base
A place to worship
A place to belong to
A place where faith leads us to care
The home of Richmond’s Hope
Liz Henderson (the minister) is in the church office or café most days and is available for you if you want to talk to her whilst your child is at Richmond’s Hope.
You are welcome to join us for worship on Sundays at 11am
The Richmond Café is open Monday to Friday 8:30am to 1:30pm
Food Co-operative and nearly new stalls Thursday (10-12)